Great Leadership! Ten Ways to Demonstrate Great Leadership to Your Family

As we near President's Day in the United States we often think of the great men who led our country. On Monday, February 19, 2007 we will be honoring George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and all of the other great presidents who have helmed our country. These men have demonstrated great leadership for our nation but on a smaller scale are those men and women who provide great leadership for their families. Here are some traits of effective leaders that can be easily adapted from the world of business to the world of your family:

• Your leadership is based on your previous experience, knowledge, skills, beliefs, language, and attitudes. When you understand this theory, practice, practice, practice, and stay open to new beliefs you will have increased all of these to a higher degree for you and for your family. Always strive to learn something new. Don't let your family life stagnate.
  
  
• Great leaders understand there are 3 truths to reality. Their truth, the other person's truth, and the evidence based factual truth. They know it is human nature to get into ruts. People get comfortable with what they know and fend off the unfamiliar and unknown. Take the time to explore new ideas, beliefs, and attitudes. You may just discover one that fits better for you. At the very least you will demonstrate to your family that you are not rigid and inflexible which will likely allow them to be flexible too.
  
  
• Effective leaders are polite and civil. They are not interested in intimidating people because they believe that frightened people don’t take initiative or responsibility, and know that their families suffer as a result. Parenting by intimidation was the rule in previous generations but it is much more effective to parent with respect and consideration. Do you really want your kids to be afraid of you?
  
  
• Businesses and families often fail because there are no true leaders and if there are any they do not work together. If you are co-parenting, make sure that you communicate with each other to set the limits and boundaries for your family. Discuss the consequences for breaching those boundaries. When you agree on these matters beforehand you will be able to present a united front for the children.
  
  
• Good leaders know the key to “no fail” communication and making “instant connections”. They spend enormous amounts of time listening, learning, and involving people in the change process. If the children are old enough to have a say in the house rules let them take part in the decision-making process. This will enable them to adhere to the boundaries easier because they had a part in negotiating them. This will help the kids to feel empowered.
  
  
• Businesses and families that have problems are often afraid to keep people accountable and take a risk to make them mad. When this happens in families, you often see little tyrants running amok. By sticking to the consequences that you have already set out for breaching boundaries, you will be better able to control unruly behavior. Don't be afraid to make the children mad. It is your responsibility to teach them that actions have consequences. That's good parenting!
  
  
• Effective leaders also reward performance. At the same time that you are keeping the kids accountable for their actions you will also want to be rewarding them for good behavior and actions. By reinforcing the positive in your kids you are ensuring that they will give more of the same. Point out and acknowledge all the wonderful things that they do. They'll love you for it!
  
  
• Get into the habit of seeing mistakes as learning opportunities. Say out loud “Mistakes are opportunities to make it more right.” People are often so afraid of making a mistake but everybody makes mistakes. No one is perfect! By demonstrating this positive attitude for your children, you will be giving them the gift of forgiveness, for themselves and others.
  
  
• Good leaders are extraordinarily and aggressively inclusive. All members of the family are invited and expected to participate. It isn't fair for there to be one set of rules for the children and another set for the adults. Adults are expected to be the role models as they are teaching the younger generation how to live in the world. Therefore, don't expect little Johnny to be truthful if you cheat on your taxes. Little Johnny is seeing everything that you do and is filing it away in his memory bank.
  
  
• Effective leaders aren't afraid to hire a personal coach. Great parents believe it is fine to not have all the answers. Parent coaching can help you be more successful as a parent and get you what you want and need faster than if you didn't have the professional support.

Let's face it, parenting these days is tough. Out of all the necessary skills to parent effectively, the most important one is leadership. You have the honor of leading this little child along the path from childhood to adulthood. Remember, you may be just one person to the world, but to one child you are the world. Be a good leader!

Happy President's Day!

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